My Fight to Feel Better 63 Day Check In

As I sit down to write this post, I have so many mixed emotions!  First of all, it feels like yesterday that I was here with my 42 Day Check In but that was already 3 weeks ago!  The days are flying by and each day I'm still feeling better and stronger.  Each day I show up for my workout I'm plugging away at the big picture and new lifestyle I'm determined to make my normal.  

If you read my first post, I've been doing the 21 Day Fix workout series through Beachbody.  I started with two rounds of the regular 21 Day Fix series and for the last 21 days I've been doing the 21 Day Fix Extreme series.  What is the biggest difference?  It's harder, lol.  There's a lot more jumping and less breaks.  There are some videos that I love in the extreme series like pilates and upper fix but I found all the other ones really challenging (in a good way!)  Plyo and cardio definitely proved to be the most difficult for me and I'm still working each day on building endurance for cardio.  Plyo is basically jumping and squatting with weights the entire time... it's hard and I could never tell if I was on the verge of puking or passing out, haha!  It sounds miserable, but that feeling was always temporary and then I felt good.  

If you're interested in the workouts (and feel inspired by my story and journey), I'd love to chat with you about Beach Body on Demand.  If you want to dive in and get started, you can help me by using my coach ID of 1574073.  You definitely don't have to by any means but I opted to become a coach based on the amount of individuals who have approached me about these workouts and what I think!  I would never recommend something that I don't love.  These workouts have literally changed my life.

I definitely struggled through this 21 day fix extreme but I know that it made some serious impact with my body based on the updated photos we took this past weekend.  So where do I go from here?  

You better believe I'm not even close to being done!  As of today I'm 22 lbs down and lord knows how many inches... it's crazy!  I have decided that I'm going to try a different program that is 60 days long called Piyo that I'm going to be mixing with P90X3.  I have no idea what to expect but I think my mind and body needs something totally different to stay focused and challenged.  Don't get me wrong, I'm plenty challenged physically in both 21 day fix programs BUT I am feeling like I need variation to keep things interesting!  I may even jump back to the 21 day fix videos again after this is said and done.  I'm definitely nervous but ready for the change!  I'll be sure to do a halfway update post at 30 days to let you know how it's going!  **Quick Update:  we started day 1 of the new PiYo & P90x3 series... PiYo was awesome and challenging!  My arms and legs are still shaking as I type this out but it was great... I'm super nervous for P90x3 but hoping I'm at a place physically that I can power through.)

When all this started I opened up my doors to anyone who wanted to come join but since we are now almost 3 months into this and it's pretty much just been the three of us, it would be kinda difficult for someone to just "jump in" without doing what we have been doing.  It's not that they wouldn't get a good workout, but it might be off putting or frustrating and I don't want that for anyone.  Our workout times have been all over the place from early morning to late afternoon to by ourselves if we can't get together.  Who knows... maybe someday I'll open a real gym around here!  :)

So here are some photos from the past 21 days... lots of workouts, lots of Riley sleeping, yummy food, clothes that actually FIT me now, loving my Fitbit and building friendships along the way.  There's more below so keep scrolling for more insights from the last 21 days!

Since opening my studio I find myself not using it as much as I'd like only because I didn't really have a reason to be there all the time.  Now since starting these workouts, my Husband Shaun has jumped on board too doing his own weight lifting program!  He's been working out in my space every day, too.  It's turned into our own little gym and I love it!  It has been so much fun spending time in there together as a family and Riley watching her parents work out.  She LOVES it.  I will never forget this night (the images below) and Riley had one of my resistance bands and was trying to do the moves with me, it was SO CUTE.  Shaun and I were laughing so hard.  She also loves to do sit ups with me!

While I'm working so hard for ME, this has also been so eye opening to so many other aspects of my life like my relationships.  I feel closer to Shaun than I have in years.  Starting to love myself again has in turn made me love him even stronger.  I have actually felt like I'm falling in love with him all over again and that feels pretty dang good.  He can see such a change in me and feels it, too.  For the first time in years I WANT him to touch me and I WANT to show him parts of me I've been hiding for too long.  That feels really good and empowering in our marriage.  

On one of our workouts, my friend's daughter came along and took some behind the scenes pictures of us ladies doin' the damn thing!  These pictures are a really good idea of what we do every week!  We are grunting, sweating, laughing and embracing the chaos of the kiddos running around.  We get it DONE and we show up for each other and ourselves, every day.  

I had kind of a weird day toward the end of this last 21 day fix extreme series when I was in my studio by myself working one day... I could NOT stop crying.  Like all day.  It was weird because I don't cry very easily anymore but on this day, all the emotions just hit me at once on how my weight has negatively affected me over the years.  

I could have done something about how I felt about myself but I opted to live a sedentary lifestyle. Instead of taking the stairs I took the elevator. Instead of exercising, I made excuses. Instead of eating better, I said, "What's another bad calorie when I'm already here?" The list goes on... My weight and body image has been such a negative thing in my life for far too long and it wasn't until losing the weight I've lost thus far that EVERYTHING is so much more clear to me.

I got to a point where I literally thought to myself it doesn't even matter what I do because it won't matter... I wouldn't ever be able to get back to the Emma I remember. The Emma who was healthy, fit, happy, passionate about living and who cared about how she looked and felt every day.

When I finally had my wakeup call everything changed.

For years I've dreaded warm weather and have worn clothes to hide my body. For years I've avoided showing my arms to anyone. For years I've even hid from my own Husband.  All that is changing. I'm rocking tanks and feeling good about it. I'm done hiding. I'm done being ashamed and feeling sorry for myself. I'm choosing to DO something about all the negative energy that has been suffocating me for years by turning it into something I can be proud of.

I feel beautiful again and I feel strong. I feel like I can do anything.

When I workout my little girl cheers for me and tells me I'm doing a good job. 

When I hit 20 lbs lost, I took some updated headshots of myself and it was crazy how much happier I was in front of the camera.  It's been a long time... 

On January 31, I went to Pacific Sports Spa in Chehalis, WA to do my first ever BOD POD Body Composition Tracking System Analysis.  In a nutshell it tells you (very accurately) where you are at physically with your weight, body fat, muscle, etc.  The only reason I'm sharing my results almost TWO months into this new lifestyle is to show you just how real this is for me and how overweight I really was and still am today.  I'm scared to even see what these numbers would have been in early December last year because I know based off my BMI that I was just under the threshold of obesity.  Scary.  

When this was done I weighed 181 lbs (started at 202), 37.1% body fat and 62.97% fat free mass (muscle, water, bone, organs, etc.)  In lbs, that's 67.511 lbs of fat and 114.299 lbs of all the other stuff.

Based on my results, I am in the "Excess Fat" category and toward the higher end of that gauge too which is hard to see, but important.  It indicated that I have an excess accumulation of fat over time.  The good thing about this is that I went into this having a pretty good idea in my head of where I'm at and this test confirmed my thoughts.

I've had people DM me on Instagram saying that, "You are so beautiful as you are, don't worry about it!"  Well... I do worry about it and if I continued down the road I was headed it would not have been good.  And the truth is, I've learned to hide my weight pretty well over the years.  And when I was sharing pictures of myself online before now, you better believe I only shared the most flattering pictures of myself and NEVER of my arms or waist area if I could avoid it.  

I share these stats because I want to make it clear that I DO have work to do and I AM overweight.  I'm not being unrealistic with my goals and where I hope to be with my weight.  This is real life and real statistics on just how unhealthy I've been.  Ultimately, I am striving to get myself in the healthy BMI range and Moderately Lean if not LEAN category for body fat.  I still have so much work to do but I do think I'm going to get there.

I have learned an important lesson in knowing that things won't just change because you want them to, you have to work really freaking hard for it.  My body is in a constant state of soreness but it feels so good.  I've become addicted to my daily videos but also respect my body and I let it rest when I feel maxed out or too fatigued.  On the days I have allowed myself to rest, I've pushed harder than ever on the next workout.  Rest is just as important as exercising.

I've attached the official document for reference.  These numbers are so hard to look at but I'm SO happy I did it because I have a really good gauge of where I am at physically and what I need to do to see those numbers change.  

As far as the actual POD experience goes, it was SO easy!  I wore a sports bra and spandex bike shorts and sat in the little POD while the measurements do their thing.  We did two 1 minute checks and that was it!  Super easy.  I also had to wear a swim cap, haha.  If you are starting or have already started a journey to change your life, I highly recommend doing a full body composition test in a BOD POD!  It's super private and cost me $30.

Let's talk about Facebook for just a minute...

Anytime someone would tag me in a photo I would instantly stress.  I have it set up so that I have to accept the tag to show on my feed or deny it.  I have denied a LOT of tags of myself because I've hated how I look.  That's just the truth.  This past weekend on February 3rd we celebrated miss Riley's third birthday party in my downtown studio!  It was SO sweet and I have a full blog post coming very soon with all the details... Anyway, when I got home from the party I had a pending tag on Facebook from someone in our family who was at Riley's party.  That feeling of "ugh" came over me when I opened the image to see.  There I was, in the background behind the kiddos taking a few detail shots of one of my florist's floral arrangements.  I didn't even recognize myself.  I looked lean.  I smiled so big and ran to my Husband to show him because I was so excited.  My arms looked thin and my hips weren't popping out of my shirt.  This was just one of those ah-ha moments that told me it's WORKING and I am doing some pretty amazing things for myself and my body.  I've included that picture below for reference along with a few cell phone peeks of the party!

And here are some pictures from the party with my "fancy" camera!  I figured if I was going to have the party in my beautiful studio, I might as well make it blog worthy!  I can't wait to share more from this special event, Riley had so much fun!

So now I'll share my beginning images compared to day 63

All the top images are from early December and the bottom images are day 63 since starting #myfighttofeelbetter.

My Husband told me awhile back I should wait to share any pictures until I hit my final goal weight and I agreed with him, for a minute.  THEN it hit me that this is NOT about the end game for me.  This is my life.  This is my present.  This is my journey.  This is setting the foundation for the rest of my life to be fit, healthy, and happy.  I want to share all the moments along the way that push me to keep pushing myself physically and emotionally.  So no, I'm not after the attention for some crazy final reveal although I do look forward to seeing those pictures in a few months.  I share these images because even if I inspire one person to get up off the couch and change their life, it's all worth it.  

So that's about all I have today for this 63 day check in on My Fight to Feel Better.  It's been insane, and so rewarding.  I am really just getting started... 

Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a whole lot more rewarding.

If I have one piece of advice, it's simply to START.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  You are capable of great things, you just have to believe in yourself and make the necessary changes to make new habits stick.